I’m a big worrier. Always have been. Some of my earliest memories are of being anxious to the point of getting sick, sometimes for trivial reasons. My mind moves a million miles a minute, wondering what will happen in 5 minutes, or tomorrow, or next week, or in ten years. If I don’t have a plan, something will go wrong. That’s how it’s always felt. Like I’m creating my own reality through sheer willpower, and if I drop the ball, everything will crumble.

I’ve been in the Church my whole life so I’ve heard stuff like, “’do not fear’ is the most repeated phrase in the Bible.” But to me, that’s always felt more like a comfort than a command. Kind of like when you tell someone you’re afraid of heights, and they sort of chuckle to themselves and say “aw, don’t be scared.”

I was reading through the Gospel of John recently (which is my favorite, because it doesn’t make any sense), and noticed something that I’ve managed to ignore previously. In John 14:15, Jesus says, “if you love me, keep my commandments.” Right. Got it. But just a few verses later he says, “let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be afraid.” Even though he’s moved on to another topic, these two verses are conveniently side-by-side in my Bible. When I noticed this, I scribbled some notes in my journal and combined them. “If you love me, keep my commandments… let not your heart be troubled.”

Suddenly, “do not fear” isn’t just an empty platitude. It’s not just a comforting reminder. It’s a command. And my tendency to allow my thoughts to run wild and obsessively plan each next step is no longer a funny little quirk, but an area in which I’ve convinced myself it’s appropriate to ignore God.

Now, I think there’s a conversation around this topic on mental illness too. There are very real disorders that cause people to obsess over small things or feel intense anxiety and worry ­– and I wouldn’t argue that those are sin. But for me, and maybe for you, this is a good place to start. The reminder that we serve a God who cares for us. Who commands us to trust him, even (especially!) when it isn’t easy. And when we love him, we obey him as best as we can.

MargaretAnn Leithart is a student at Johnson University in Knoxville, TN.