INTRODUCTION

Godly, effective parenting is parenting molded by the Spirit.  Effective parents are Pentecostal parents.  What does that mean?

THE TEXT

“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.  For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh . . . .” (Galatians 5:16-26).

LOVE

Jesus is the model of Christian love, and his love is self-sacrificial.  He lays down His life for His friends (John 15:13).  When parents act out of selfishness or laziness, they are parenting in the flesh.  Pentecostal parents put aside their own convenience, comfort, and plans to serve their children.  Christian love is not the same as toleration.  Pentecostal parents discipline their children because they love them, and discipline in love (Proverbs 12:1; 13:24; Hebrew 12:4-11).  Tell your children you love them; tell them often, and show them.

JOY

Children are frustrating, but Pentecostal parents recognize their children as undeserved gifts from God (Psalm 127:3), and rejoice in them (Psalm 113:9; Isaiah 54:1; John 16:21; Galatians 4:27).  Through all the challenges that come with raising children, the dominant atmosphere of a Pentecostal family is joy.  Laugh with your children; make it obvious that you, like the heavenly Father, delight in your sons and daughters (Psalm 22:8; Proverbs 3:12; 8:31; 29:17; Matthew 3:17; 27:43).  Don’t leave them wondering.

PEACE

In Scripture, peace is not just absence of conflict and war, but harmony and fruitfulness.  When the Spirit dwells and works in a home, the result will be shalom .  Families dominated by the flesh are characterized by enmities, strife, disputes, dissensions (Galatians 5:20), but the Spirit is life and peace (Romans 8:6; Ephesians 4:3).

PATIENCE AND FAITHFULNESS

Parenting is a long-term commitment.  Though the mode of parenting changes over time, parents never cease being parents to their children.  Parenting demands persevering faithfulness over decades, and this is a gift of the Spirit.  The fruits of our parenting don’t appear instantly, and so we need to cultivate our children with patient hope.  When our children fail, sin, make messes, act immaturely, we should respond to them with the same patience that our Father shows us (Romans 2:4; 1 Peter 3:20).

KINDNESS, GOODNESS, GENTLENESS

Parents are often much more severe with their children than they are with themselves.  Harsh, sarcastic, or hyper-critical speech comes from the flesh, as does excessive corporal discipline.  Pentecostal parents don’t speak to or discipline their children to let off steam, or to find a scapegoat to punish.

SELF-CONTROL

Self-control is a central Christian virtue (Acts 24:25; 1 Corinthians 9:25; 2 Timothy 3:3; 2 Peter 1:6), but according to Scripture we don’t achieve self-control by gritting our teeth and trying harder.  It’s a gift of God.  We can’t be effective parents unless our fleshly desires and instincts are held in check.  Self-control is essential if we are to raise our children in love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness.