Marriage isn’t a social institution with an added symbolic layer. It’s symbolic from the ground up, from the beginning (Eph 5:22-33).

Married couples inescapably represent Christ and the church, or misrepresent them. 

Tyrannical husbands lie about Jesus, and so do irresponsible, abdicating husbands. 

Rebellious, embittered, resentful, lazy, nagging wives who do nothing but complain about their husbands lie about the church.

God binds a man and a woman together to tell the truth about Jesus, to witness to the gospel. Marriage exists for the sake of the kingdom, to advance the mission of Jesus.

There’s no special ethics of marriage. Marriage is one zone of life where we bear the fruits of the Spirit. Everything Paul says in Ephesians 4-5 applies to marriage.

How do you make sure your marriage does what it's supposed to do?  Be humble, gentle, patient, tolerant in love. Preserve the unity of the Spirit and the bond of peace.

Put off lust, greed, impurity. Forgive one another as God in Christ has forgiven you. Speak truth to one another, in love, as members of one another. 

Control your tongue, speaking nourishing edifying words and not rotten ones. Be filled with the Spirit. Sing.

Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. The more deeply you bottle up anger and resentment, the more satanic your marriage becomes. Eventually, you’ll lose every ability except the diabolical skills of slander and accusation.

If you want your marriage to serve God’s purposes, put off the old man and put on the new. Put off Adam, and put on Christ. Act like Christians.