ESSAY
Must A Light Bulb Be “Oriented Toward Illumination”?
POSTED
April 28, 2015

Mr. Martian: What’s that there?

Mr. Edison: (Edison holds up a standard, 60 watt lightbulb). It’s a lightbulb.

Mr. Martian: A “lightbulb” you say? What exactly is a “lightbulb”?

Mr. Edison: A lightbulb is an object used to illuminate a dark area, say a room. It’s made primarily of filament and glass. When it’s plugged in to an electrical source, electricity passes through the filament and causes it to glow red hot. This in turn creates light and illuminates the dark.

Mr. Martian: What’s the glass for?

Mr. Edison: The glowing filament is dangerous to touch, and might harm someone or start a fire. So for safety reasons, the glowing filament is covered by glass.

Mr. Martian: Ok, I think I get it. A lightbulb is a device made of filament and glass, powered by electricity, used to illuminate a room or some other darkened space.

Mr. Edison: Yes, that’s pretty much it.

(Mr. Progressive enters the room, notices Mr. Edison and Mr. Martian talking.)

Mr. Progressive: Hello Gentlemen (then seeing that Mr. Martian is a Martian)… er, Gentleman and Gentle…person. What are you discussing?

Mr. Martian: Mr. Edison was just now explaining to me the nature of the lightbulb.

Mr. Progressive: Oh yes, lightbulbs are wonderful. I’ve decorated my whole house with them. I have red ones and purple ones, big ones and small ones. Lightbulbs are beautiful. Indeed, beauty is the thing I most love about lightbulbs.  As it happens, I have my favorite one with me right here. Let me show you.

(Mr. Progressive pulls a small object from his pocket. It’s a ball made of clear glass with a wooden base at the bottom. There is a miniature barn inside the ball. Mr. Progressive shakes the glass ball, causing what looks like snow to swirl around inside the ball.)

Mr. Progressive: Isn’t it lovely?

Mr. Martian (clearly impressed): Indeed! And how bright does it get?

Mr. Progressive: Bright? I don’t follow.

Mr. Martian (looking questioningly at Mr. Edison, then back at Mr. Progressive): Yes, when you pass electricity through it, how bright does it get?

Mr. Progressive: Oh, I see. No doubt Mr. Edison here has been giving you an antiquated understanding of lightbulbs. I suppose he’s told you that lightbulbs are chiefly designed to illuminate things?

Mr. Martian: Yes, that’s right.

Mr. Progressive: Well I’m afraid his understanding of lightbulbs is a bit old-fashioned. It’s true, when lightbulbs were first created, illumination was their primary function. But the purpose of the lightbulb has expanded beyond such a mere utilitarian function. The lightbulb has become an object of beauty, a work of art, a symbol of our growing and expanding culture. They now come in all manner of colors and shapes and sizes. Some people still value them for illumination, but there are many folks who now use lightbulbs for decorations. Personally (and I’m not alone here), I value them chiefly for their aesthetic beauty.

Mr. Martian (to Mr. Edison): Is this true? Are lightbulbs also used for aesthetic purposes?

Mr. Edison: Well, yes. Lightbulbs are often used as decorations. As Mr. Progressive noted, they come in all different sizes, colors, and shapes. Lightbulbs are often used by folks to add color and decoration to their homes, or to create a festive atmosphere at a party or gathering. They are also often used in religious celebrations.  In such cases, the concern is as much for aesthetics as for illumination.

Mr. Martian: So lightbulbs have an aesthetic function as well as an illuminating function?

Mr. Edison: Yes, that’s right. That’s part of their beauty. But that doesn’t change the fact that all lightbulbs are, by definition, created to illuminate.

Mr. Progressive: With all due respect to Mr. Edison, he is prioritizing illumination over aesthetics because of his own personal tastes. The fact that he values lightbulbs for their illuminating qualities more than he values lightbulbs for their aesthetic qualities is all well and good. But I happen to feel the opposite (as do many others). Candidly, I don’t much care if a lightbulb illuminates anything. I care about how it looks, and whether it adds beauty to my home or room décor.

Mr. Martian: So then illumination is not a definitional quality of the lightbulb?

Mr. Edison: Well I wouldn’t say that. A lightbulb has always been, by definition, an object that illuminates things by passing electric current through a piece of filament, and that is covered by glass for safety purposes. For an object to be a lightbulb, it must, at the very least, be “oriented toward illumination”, as I like to say. Whatever other function or aesthetic quality an object might have, if it wasn’t made to illuminate the dark, then it’s not, by definition, a lightbulb.

Mr. Progressive: There you go again, being so traditional. So you think illumination is definitional to a lightbulb, do you?

Mr. Edison: Well, yes.

Mr. Progressive: Have you ever seen a broken lightbulb?

Mr. Edison: Certainly. I have one here in my hand. (Holds up the broken bulb and shakes it next to his ear). I was just on my way to replacing it. The filament inside has burned out and has broken off at one end. I can tell it’s broken because I can hear it bounce around when I shake it.

Mr. Progressive: Right. So there you have a glass ball that doesn’t illuminate anything, and that (frankly) has very little aesthetic quality, and still you insist on calling it a lightbulb. And here I have my own lightbulb, which illuminates no less than your bulb, and which (again, speaking frankly, and I hope not unkindly), is far more aesthetically pleasing than your bulb. Why do you get to call your bulb a lightbulb, but insist that my lightbulb is not a lightbulb?

Mr. Edison: Well, I’m not trying to be cantankerous. It’s just that what you have there is a snow globe, not a lightbulb. The reason my lightbulb doesn’t illuminate anything is because it’s broken. But it’s still by definition a lightbulb. If I held this up to a thousand people they would all recognize it as a lightbulb, because it was clearly made to plug into an electric source and produce light. A broken lightbulb is still oriented toward illumination, even if it is incapable of illuminating. But your snow globe was never meant to illuminate anything (charming as it is). And therefore, it is incorrect to call it a lightbulb.

Mr. Progressive: See, but you are arriving at your definition of lightbulb only because you prioritize illumination over aesthetics. One you acknowledge that there is more to lightbulbs than illumination, and that aesthetics are just as important (if not more important), then you will see that what I have here is not a “snow globe” (as you call it), but a lightbulb every bit as much a lightbulb as yours.

Mr. Martian: I think I get it! (Reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small metal object. The object is about two inches long, an inch wide, rounded on one end and somewhat pointy on the other. Martian lettering can be seen along the surface.) This is my lightbulb. My mother gave it to me as a child. On my planet we call them garzoos. We use them as decorations on our mantels, or in our places of work. Sometimes we hang them from the rearview mirrors of our spaceships.

(Mr. Edison and Mr. Progressive lean in closely to examine the object.)

Mr. Progressive: Um, it’s very nice to be sure. But I’m not quite certain you’ve got the idea.

Mr. Martian (Puzzled): What am I missing?

Mr. Progressive: Well, what you have in your hand (and again, it’s very nice), is quite a bit different than our lightbulbs, don’t you think? (Mr. Progressive gestures at his “lightbulb” and Mr. Edison’s lightbulb.)

Mr. Martian: How so? I thought a lightbulb was an object with a decorative, aesthetic function. If the most important feature of a lightbulb is its aesthetic value, then why isn’t my garzoos a lightbulb?

Mr. Progressive: Well, it’s the wrong shape, for starters. And the wrong size. And the wrong color. And it doesn’t have any glass.

Mr. Martian: But I thought you said that lightbulbs come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and colors? And besides, it does have glass. (Holding up the garzoos and turning it over). See here? The bottom is made of dark glass.

Mr. Progressive (looking more closely): Well yes…

Mr. Martian: So why is your lightbulb a lightbulb, but not my garzoos? I would feel more validated as visitor to this planet if you called my garzoos a lightbulb. That you are unwilling to do so leaves me feeling marginalized and not part of this conversation. Why should you and Mr. Edison get to have lightbulbs, but not me?

Mr. Progressive: Well you do have a point there. I’m a firm believer in not marginalizing anyone. Especially visitors from other planets. I suppose in its own way your garzoos functions for you like my lightbulb does for me. And again, clearly your garzoos (it really is quite nice) has more aesthetics beauty than Mr. Edison’s broken lightbulb. No offense intended, Mr. Edison.

Mr. Edison: None taken. But see here, this is what happens when you deny that illumination is a definitional characteristic of a lightbulb. The chief reason that Mr. Martian’s garzoos (and it is very nice), isn’t a lightbulb is because it isn’t oriented toward illumination. And that’s why your snow glob, Mr. Progressive, isn’t a lightbulb, either. That’s not necessarily an indictment against snow globes or garzooses (or perhaps garzooi?). My only point is that they aren’t lightbulbs and shouldn’t be called such. Things would get pretty confusing if any aesthetically pleasing object could be called a lightbulb. Or at the very least, we would need to come up with a new word to reference what we have traditionally called “lightbulbs.”

Mr. Progressive: Well that sounds reasonable. How about “ball of light”? Or perhaps “glowing filament of fire covered by glass”?

Mr. Edison: I was just kidding about coming up with a new term.

Mr. Martian (unclear): So is my garzoos a lightbulb?

Mr. Progressive: Yes.

Mr. Edison: No (though it is very nice).


Gerald Hiestand is the Senior Associate Pastor of Calvary Memorial Church, and the Director of the Center for Pastor Theologians. He blogs atwww.pastortheologians.com.

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